Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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