I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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