Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
