If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
