that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
