Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
No stitches, just platelets and will power
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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