Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Everclear isn't food dammit
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
