Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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