he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
