Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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