Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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