Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Boobs speak an international language.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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