careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
