the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
