u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
