Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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