But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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