at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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