a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Randomize
