sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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