I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
