similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
