I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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