I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
