We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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