he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
