his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
