so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
And then he peed in my hair
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