it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
