Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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