I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
