If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
