Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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