just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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