Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
