hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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