Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
