Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
then he tried to convert me to islam
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
