I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
