You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My dick has a subreddit
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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