So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
