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So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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