i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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