I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
