so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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