you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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