the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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