I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I want a musical about memes.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
