capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
