just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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