We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
