My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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