can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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