He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize