hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Welp...herpes.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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