i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
