I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize