Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Randomize
