He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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