I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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