Non-Jews are for practice
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
