So drunk its hurt
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
