i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
